Instruction 15: You Will Always Be Our Baby

Always.

Instruction 14: Do as you're told...

And no one will get hurt.

Instruction 13: Your Sibling Is Loyal

You've already mastered this one, but never forget that work and play are both better with the people who are loyal to you, especially your sibling. If you can keep the trust you have now, you'll never lack for someone to pick up the pieces, finish your plan, or cover up your mess.

Instruction 12: Never Say "Can't"

Ever.

Instruction 11: Tie Up All Loose Ends

The one time you don't will surely come back to haunt you.

Instruction 10: Act Appropriately

If you want people to take you seriously, don't act like an imbecile. Alternatively, don't show up to the party wearing your work face.

Instruction 9: Obey The Thumper Rule

When you eventually have kids, resist the urge to speak to them like a smartass. They will figure out what you're doing and they will turn it against you.

Instruction 8: Use A Chair

Drawers, cabinets, shelves, boxes, counters, and people are not designed especially for you to crawl into or sit on.

Instruction 7: Sleep In Once In A While

Seriously, you don't have to wake up at the crack of dawn every day.

Instruction 6: Ask Nicely And Say Please

There will never, ever be a time in which a screaming fit will get you exactly what you want. Come back and try again once you've calmed down and if you still don't get what you want, you probably don't need it anyway.

Instruction 5: Trust, But Verify

Our friends are good people and they love you dearly, but don't forget that these are people who are friends of your parents and something is clearly wrong with them.

Instruction 4: Find Beauty Wherever You Are

It's far too easy to let the things that drag you down or annoy you take over the entire scope of your day. So go check out where that ladybug that landed near your hand is off to. All those things will still be there when you get back, but maybe your outlook will have changed.

Instruction 3: Don't Waste Time On Mortification

Yes, we know exactly how embarrassing we are. We do it on purpose. Those pictures are on the internet TO STAY.

Instruction 2: Get Your Exercise

If we all ran and sang and jumped and danced and laughed the way that you do now, nobody would be fat.

Instruction 1: Don't Blame Us For How You Are

By the time you are grown, I'm sure you'll already know that we are not perfect parents. Just remember that we did all we could with what we were given. We're parents, not miracle-workers.